1、原来大家恋爱都是不公开的，我还以为大家都和我一样是单身。
It turns out that everyone’s love is not public. I thought everyone was single like me.
2、不要熬夜了，对手机不好。
Don’t stay up late. It’s bad for cell phones.
3、喜欢一个人太累了，所以我喜欢了十个。
It’s too tired to like one person, so I like ten.
4、让暴风雨来得更猛烈些吧，反正我是卖伞的。
Let the storm come harder. I sell umbrella anyway.
5、大家好，我是当地小有名气的美女，具体多小呢，目前只有我知道。
Hello, everyone. I’m a little famous local beauty. How small is it? At present, only I know.
6、听说有两种人特别可爱，一种是健忘的，还有一种我忘了。
It’s said that there are two kinds of people who are particularly lovely, one is forgetful, and the other is I forgot.
7、谈恋爱吗？谈两天，这周末我没事。
Want to fall in love? Let’s have a two-day relationship. I’m fine this weekend.
8、每次考试，监考老师都说请把与考试无关的东西放到讲台上的时候，我就想把我自己放到讲台上。
Every time the invigilator says “please put something irrelevant to the exam on the platform”, I want to put myself on the platform.
9、问一下各位美女，假如有两个男生追你，一个开法拉利，另一个没有车，但是北京上海各有一套三居室，你打算什么时候从梦里醒来。
Ask the beauties, if there are two boys chasing you, one drives a Ferrari, the other doesn’t have a car, but Beijing and Shanghai each have a three bedroom apartment. When do you plan to wake up from your dream.
10、在哪里跌倒，就在哪里烧烤。
Where you fall, barbecue there.
11、为什么不回我消息，真恶心，就因为我没发？
Why don’t you return my news? It’s disgusting. Is it just because I didn’t send it?
12、上班点外卖吃真的很不健康，建议大家不要上班。
It’s really unhealthy to take out food at work. I suggest you don’t go to work.