1、多年前你一句保重，我至今没瘦。
Take care of yourself many years ago. I haven’t lost weight yet.
2、你过得好不好，别人不知道，但你一胖，大家都知道了。
Others don’t know whether you are well, but when you are fat, everyone knows.
3、这是什么人生，钱没有，爱情也没有。
What kind of life is this? No money, no love.
4、别提了，刚去录完口供，说我涉嫌喜欢你。
Don’t mention it. I just went to take a statement and said I like you.
5、空有一身泡妞的本领，无奈自己也是个妞。
There is a set of skills to chase girls, but I am also a girl.
6、住在外面有经济压力，住在家里有精神压力。
There is economic pressure to live outside, and there is mental pressure to live in the home.
7、我原本可以快乐的生活，都是没钱害了我。
I could have lived a happy life, but no money hurt me.
8、吃什么补什么，夏天吃布丁，蚊子就不叮。
If you eat pudding in summer, mosquitoes will not bite.
9、一旦发现自己稍微瘦一点的时候，就想吃东西庆祝一下。
Once you find yourself a little thinner, eat something to celebrate.
10、我的特长：知难而退，半途而废，熬夜不睡。
My specialty: retreat in the face of difficulties, give up halfway and stay up late.
11、上课睡觉觉，下课蹦跳跳，考试死翘翘。
Sleep in class, jump after class, and pass the exam.
12、我刚刚扇了我钱包一个耳光，其实也没什么，就是希望它能肿起来。
I just slapped my wallet in the face. It’s nothing. I just hope it will swell up.