今天第一次去摆摊，实在不知道摆啥好，于是在路边摆了个碗，净赚55元，收摊回家。
Today, for the first time to set up a stall, I really don’t know what to do, so I put a bowl on the roadside, net 55 yuan, and go home.
挑战一百天不说脏话，今天是第一天，开他妈的始。
Challenge 100 days not to say dirty words, today is the first day, start fucking.
自从我妈知道单身狗这个词后，她已经忘了我叫什么名字了。
Ever since my mom knew the word single dog, she’s forgotten my name.
请不要对我放电！我这里有来电显。
Please do not discharge to me! I have a phone call here.
原来女孩子可以有男朋友啊，我从来没有，我还以为犯法呢。
It turns out that girls can have boyfriends, ah, I never, I thought it was against the law.
两天瘦20斤，不靠节食不靠运动，全靠我自己幻想。
Two days thin 20 catties, does not depend on the diet not to depend on the movement, completely depends on my fantasy.
我不敢睡觉 ，我怕我睡着了，世界上就多了一位睡美人。
I dare not sleep, I am afraid that if I fall asleep, there will be one more sleeping beauty in the world.
如果有一天你想哭，打电话给我，让我知道你也有今天。
If one day you want to cry, call me, let me know you have today.
昨天跟蚊子战了一宿，最后打成了平手，我没睡好，它没吃饱。
I fought with the mosquito all night yesterday, and finally it was a draw. I didn’t sleep well, and it didn’t eat enough.